Home at last

For the last two months ive been living in a construction zone. You’ve shared the story of the reconstruction of my camper and my life and youve been so uplifting to me. The new is….

I’ve finished the other end. The end I had to reframe. Here it is.

Its bigger than the place I had been sleeping for the last two months, and I have my breakfast nook and table now.

The whole place seems bigger. There is all kinds of storage space for my books and dishes and food. It was such a joy to have someplace to sit and write tonight instead of going to a restaurant like Arbys. Such a joy to play music and sit comfortably and write, and read. I also found my Himalayan salt lamp, which casts a warm glow through thr whole place.

This is my home. It is insulated properly. All the dead wood is gone, replaced by new 2 x2 studs. It has new curtains and as I go along it will have new rugs, new wall hangings, and continue to change along with me. It is the first home I’ve ever owned.

I love my tiny home and I live in the best place on earth.

I am really home. I am home within myself, I am whole within myself; I need no one, because I am complete inside myself, but choose to be involved in this thing called life.

Life is a wonderful thing. If we blink, we miss it. I go to the water and spend my days gazing at the vastness of it and know I am exactly where I am meant to be. I am blessed.

Stories about home: a series. Lake Superior

I sit here in my office at the tribal college on the sweeping and seemingly endless South Dakota prairies.  The grasses have changed to bright red as they do in the fall, with splashes of gold. No more do they ripple in the unceasing winds, giving the impression of a vast sea of grass.  The grasses have become stiff, taking on a sense of lifelessness as they do before going dormant in the winter.

photo credit: Lake Superior Photo.
photo credit: Lake Superior Photo.

I have not been able to become acclimated to living in the midst of the Great Plains.  As impressive as the rough and craggy beauty of South Dakota is–when it is green it looks exactly like the Highlands of Scotland–the thing that is missing that the Platte River and Missouri Rivers do not adequately fulfill is my need for water–and lots of it.  I was raised on the shores of Lake Superior, and I found the water of this vast lake fed my soul with its wild and tempestuous spirit.   I spent many a day on the shore at Wisconsin Point, climbing the rock pier out to the lighthouse, watching the waves crash around the base of it, while above me seagulls dove and fished and cried in the mournful sounding way they do.  I spent many a weekend at Canal Park, again at the end of the break-wall where the lighthouse is, watching ships entering under the Aerial Lift Bridge.   I watched the many moods of the lake, whether foggy or stormy, violent or still.   I felt at home with that lake no matter what her moods were.  It was as if I were a part of her, as if my thirsty soul were quenched each time I headed north and saw the lights of the Duluth hill reflected in her face.   Although she has taken many ships, among the most famous the Edmund Fitzgerald, when I swam in her, I never felt she would hurt me; she was like a mother, holding me in cradling arms and I let the waves toss me hither and yon, and rode the currents into shore and back out again as if I were a piece of driftwood that would eventually end up on the sand.

As we slowly sink into winter, there is no snow here; my mind wanders back to winters in Duluth/Superior–the frozen bay, the change of seasons when yacht owners would haul them out of Barker’s Island marina and store them until the spring; when the bay would freeze over and tires would be laid out in a racing course, and when the ice was thick enough, car races would commence right on the ice.   I think of the Polar Bear Club swimming in the frozen lake undeterred by age or temperature.   I think of the Fourth of July, boats out on the bay in the midst of a shower of colors as fireworks are lit up over the water and reflected on her surface.  I think of a life where unconsciously and consciously, every activity revolves around Lake Superior–fishing, swimming, boating, industry, and life.   And I wonder how I came to be so far away from this, my lake, and I wonder what life event will occur to take me back to her, if ever.   There is no isolation there in the same way it exists as a phantom everywhere in South Dakota–the Great North of Lake Superior is filled with trees, and life and the lake and the isolation one experiences up there is akin to the sacred isolation one feels in a church—where it is necessary to be alone in order to be close to God, and the sacred.

lake superior

vast inland sea you give the illusion you cover the world entire

while rocks remain timeless scattered on your shores,

mighty thousand foot ships merely your playthings

many a night and day have i spent in your presence

glorying in your sacred wildness which feeds

my exhausted spirit reviving that thing

that lives inside of me that becomes almost-dead from

too much time away exploring the world

always in my mind  you live inside of me

i see your blue expanse lake-mother hear your children

the gulls cry and sob

their own form of poetry as they fly and dip and wheel over

your surface; deeply ensconced are your secrets