Reimagining my life

At the bottom of her heart, however, she was waiting for something to happen. Like shipwrecked sailors, she turned despairing eyes upon the solitude of her life, seeking afar off some white sail in the mists of the horizon. She did not know what this chance would be, what wind would bring it her, towards what shore it would drive her, if it would be a shallop or a three-decker, laden with anguish or full of bliss to the portholes. But each morning, as she awoke, she hoped it would come that day; she listened to every sound, sprang up with a start, wondered that it did not come; then at sunset, always more saddened, she longed for the morrow.

Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

  • I will go back home to my lake.
  • I will not dwell on the failures of the past.
  • I forgive all those who hurt me and I pray I am forgiven by those I hurt.
  • I will earn an apartment. With wood floors and a lake view and bookshelves built into the walls. A nice old house.
  • I will play classical music in the evenings and have a nice wine rack with a good selection of wines.
  • I will hang art I love
  • I will have oriental rugs for the floors.
  • I will not allow the failed loves of the past to dictate failure in love in the future. I will love another and be loved truly by someone before I die.
  • I will have a good job and earn plenty of money.
  • I will collect used books for my used bookstore that I will have lakeside.
  • I will keep running and walking and do it beside the lake daily and live in hope, not despair or disappointment.



it cuts, this double edged sword

hordes of black crows descending

riding the shoulders pecking the head

wring it at the neck before it pecks you dead

hate the black man

hate the red

hate the Mexican

for political ends

hate blends and twists

a hidden cyst

hating women

gays and feminists

hate Democrats, conservatives,

the foreign born

talk of them with righteous scorn

Wait a moment…wait, what’s this?

Let’s get God into the mix

haters morph into mystics

then hate sticks

pardoned by Bibles, prayer and church

my aren’t we lofty on our hater’s perch?

pay lip service to forgiveness, helping the poor

while the rich we all adore

we all want to stop it

surely we do

you can’t till you realize

the hater in you