Look back with longing eyes and know that I will follow,
Lift me up in your love as a light wind lifts a swallow,
Let our flight be far in sun or blowing rain–
But what if I heard my first love calling me again?
Hold me on your heart as the brave sea holds the foam,
Take me far away to the hills that hide your home;
Peace shall thatch the roof and love shall latch the door–
But what if I heard my first love calling me once more?
Sara Teasdale, The Collected Poems
I dream endlessly in the arms of the night.
First that hawk flying into my life announcing you two days
I tied a message to the bird’s feet and it came back with your exultant reply
Rainbows pour into my black and white existence and Music explodes trumpets and stringed instruments surprising me
this was my heart singing
I am home with you right and present and correct. Years and obstacles mean nothing and there is just us in that large soft landing strip
our world where nothing bad can happen and we inseparable
Then a hole in the sky opened up sweeping you into it and I left here alone again wanting perpetual sleep but
Even my dreams are haunted with you in them
I with a strange family in a large rich house with your two blonde nieces who catch us kissing and you telling them there is no need to tell their aunt anything while you touch me in secret places and leave me wanting and I wake up body responsive and electric
This is the third dream. The first was when we were young and at the end of the runway at home you kissing me endlessly I can feel the smooth roughness if your face under my hands and smell you as I drink you into me
Desire is red and pink and uplifting and I fly upwards upon it wanting you to lift me higher and claim me in upward thrusts at airspeed
The second was last night.
no words only the silence of years apart and we
speaking in the still fraught language of looks caresses and desire
my heart caught hold of my soul as we held each other tightly and burst into flames
Your hand held tightly to mine.
I awoke still feeling the pressure of it
tearful hard lumps of sorrow liquefying and rushing out of eyes no longer unseeing
I have dreamed three days and plus the last fourteen nights with you a hawk in the first dreams alighting finally in front of me sharp eyes searching
Jesses hanging from your feet no longer tied and captive
Slowly and tenderly I take them off your feet entirely and you allow me to fling you exultantly up into the air and you fly as you always were meant to
you are a speck disappearing then
You are gone. I then sadly scan the empty blue one more time and turn to go back inside exulting in your freedom accepting what is
You return to me a man, sauntering jauntily up my porch stairs as you do catching hold of me once more
my body breaks out into song
Miracles happen I hear whispered in the breeze
I wait on the porch eyes scanning the horizon
We are connected